Tomorrow morning I fly out to Phoenix for my best friend's wedding. Of course, I am totally jazzed about the nuptials and since I'm actually in the wedding it makes it that much more fun for me. My best friend was part of my "special day" as well, so this is all coming full circle. It will be a nice break for me from my normal routine of diapers, dinners and bath time but I can't help but approach this trip with much trepidation.
I hate being away from my children. As much as they annoy me some days with whining and crying for absolutely no reason, or get on my nerves when they decide to shred toilet paper unbeknown to me I have to say that my children mean the world to me. Being away from them for one night is tough enough, let alone the TWO nights that I'll be out of town for the Wedding. The only times I've been away from my eldest overnight is to visit my Brother (1 night), to give birth to my youngest (2 nights, but he visited during the day), and a business trip (one night). I've only spent one night away from my youngest, for the aforementioned business trip and to be away from him especially just makes me sad to even think about it.
I know that every mother grapples with having to be away from her children. When I have a particularly busy week and have to schlep to Bakersfield, L.A., San Diego and other undesirable travel for business I agonize over having to have both children spend the day at day care. Of course, I am truly blessed to have such WONDERFUL care providers for my children when I have to be away which makes it a tad easier to leave them behind. But of course, the guilt associated with it is immense.
Now, this weekends getaway is not business related. I guess you could call it a pleasure trip? The amount of guilt I'm feeling from being away is insurmountable. What the heck? I should be so excited to fly off in to sunrise aboard my Southwest Airlines jetliner and escape for a weekend of mani pedis, professional makeup artistry, and lots of free food and alcohol. But I'm not. All I can keep thinking about is goofing around with my two little boys and snuggling with them every night before bed.
My childless friends think I'm NUTS for feeling this way. They have no idea what it's like to be pregnant for nearly a year, endure hard labor with shoulder dystocia, and then take that baby home to raise it to be an honorable member of society. When you've gone to all that trouble to make sure that your child makes it out alive you tend to not want to let them out of your sight! And for the record, I'm not worried in the slightest about the care that my husband provides. He is a more than capable father of handling any situation and I know that the children will be just fine with him. I'm sure I'll come back to my youngest one being constipated from a steady diet of Easy Mac, and the bathmats in our bathroom mysteriously cleaned (Kyler, I'll be watching you...).
Would it be sick to setup a "Nanny Cam" so I can stream video to my blackberry while I walk down the aisle for my best friend's big day? I'm seriously considering that option. So, who has some equipment I can borrow?
P.S.- I realize in this picture that Hayden's car seat straps are all loosey-goosey. I'm not a negligent parent. I assure you that before we started the car for the day's adventure I precisely tightened his straps and matched the chest clip to the level of his arm pits.
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